“...may our daughters be like graceful pillars, carved to beautify a palace.”
-Psalm 144:12

the art of process

Have you ever been on a road trip?
And you fall asleep through the car ride, and in the middle of the ride you wake up wondering if you made it yet...only to realize you haven't even made a dent in reaching your destination.
That is the picture of my process.
I am on this journey----trying to reach my destination, but the road to my goals have been rocky, cloudy and a lot of pit stops. 
This is just a piece of my process.....


2 0 1 7, taught me LEADERSHIP IDENTITY.  
"God did not call you to be famous, but to be influential."
                  -Tony Sutherland
My generation is so deep. Deep thinkers. Deep readers. Deep fighters. Deep movements. Yet you lack the character to stand within the deep calling, God has given you. Don't gas yourself, you're really not that deep. I had to admit, I struggle with some form of insecurities. The need for respect. Entitlement is ugly. I did not need to seek respect. I have already been accepted. I am already loved by God. I had to understand my value, to see how valuable I am. Tension is necessary for growth. I was not called to be different, but to make a difference. It is not about me. 

2 0 1 7, taught me to SHIFT.
"The glory in christian life is knowing how to handle change."
                                           -Pastor David Katina

God called me to shift into places and out of places. I have camped out at the mountain to long. Time is the calibration of change. And when God calls you to change, you change; because it has an expiration date. I kept doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. Shifting into the unknown is frightening, but your never really alone with God. Whatever God is calling you to shift into or out of, I pray you listen. Because God does not call me to shift every year. It's usually everyday. 

2 0 1 7, taught me FORGIVENESS. 
We must understand that so many of our prayers go unanswered when we choose to live with unforgiveness and bitterness." 
                                                  -Pastor Siai Gapelu

Forgiving myself for allowing my heart to endure pain is not easy. Because I expected more from people who I thought would not let me down. People will let you down. It is a fact. I have let myself down. But I am not a product of my pain. Forgiving someone does not take away the fact that you can love them easy, but you are able to live life beyond the pain that they have caused. For far to long I have prayed for God to give me a new heart......what I did not understand is, He will use the one I already have because when I am willing to forgive....He is there willing to fix. 

2 0 1 7, taught me how to be BRAVE. 
"Each one of us will pioneer something for our generation......"
                                                 -Pastor Debbie Katina

Although the concept is easy to say. BE BRAVE. I have come to a new understanding of what it means. The moment I realized how much God loves me, is the moment I realized my identity; which caused my life to shift into new places. In order for my life to successfully step into new things, I had to forgive; to show my daughter that life might hurt you but God is much bigger. And so we brave the world. We wake up fighting with God behind us. We never alter our voice. For what is right, will not go unnoticed. And what is wrong will always come out. But being brave is sometimes not easy, but it is worth it. In order for me to leave behind a legacy, I had to brave into the road that God is calling me too...............


Nobody finds beauty in the caterpillar. Everybody wants to be born, and become the butterfly. My generation is obessed with looking the part, but not actually being the part. I have grown weary of social media. Nobody is okay with the caterpillar stages of their lives. My road trip is still going. I still wake up and asked "Are we there yet?" God's like not even close...... the art of process. There is beauty in the struggle. I have come to far to give up. I have stood on shoulders of giants, who have helped me gain sight to see pass their limits. I have looked behind me and saw the people I am carrying. I have looked beside me and saw the eyes of those looking up to me.
The question is simple but profound: "Will you serve His purpose?" 
The process is not easy, but it is worth it. 


"The righteous keep moving forward, and those with clean hands become STRONGER. AND. STRONGER." -JOB 17:9



Lady Babylon