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“...may our daughters be like graceful pillars, carved to beautify a palace.”
-Psalm 144:12

Lady Babylon

I thought I had this ephipany
more like a dream turned into a mystery
I carried my pain well
Hidden beneath my sympathy
or lack there of
The interior of my heart real but rough
Every dream I had good but ended bad
Like I knew no better
Like I didn't deserve better
Like even if I got better
I'd still find out he anit no better

So I was stuck between my self-worth and my familiarity
My flesh burying me
Good girl gone bad
The devil somewhere daring me
I could make pain look good though
The ultimate high
The ultimate lie

I hid my self-worth between the center of my thighs
Lost in the sea of desperation
Womanhood.
Misused to bring a man to his knees
We are the product of Eve
Broken from an act of the forbidden tree
Losing our softness to fulfill his broken dreams
I planted my seed

I hid my self-worth within his scars
Hanging on to empty remarks
Emptying my heart
Losing myself to play a role in his part
Good girl gone wild

I hid my self-worth within the broken cracks of my heart
Living out the unconsciousness of my heartbreak
I flinched at the thought of intimacy
not sexually but mentally
It was easy to escape physically
I had to use my heart if I wanted to be emotionally attached to the man
They praised me for my coldness
Sick.
At night with this pit of a hole sense
Less. Be less.
Blessed. Smile. Curse the mess.
Drink your stress.

I hid my self-worth at the bottom of a Hennessy bottle.
Which gave me the courage to live freely for some hours without a
consciousness for my behavior.
Finding my savior
Masked in cologne
Basked in my soul
With no hope
and when he didn't fit the hole
I'd plot out the next goal

I hid my self-worth behind my feminist rights!
You know the kind woman abuse to start a fight
And end it with my self righteous belief
that it's my body, my life, my mind and I'll do what I please!
Girl please.

I hid my-self worth in the desires of my wealth
Every luxury piece stored up to make me feel better about myself
I grew rich in my comfort to think I was better if I looked better
That life don't make you no better.

Lady Babylon, Lady Babylon
Save your soul before it's gone
"You are a soul of pleasures"
And you seek SELF before God's measures.

Lady Babylon, Lady Babylon
I carried your pain
I comfort your wounds
Bandaged your breaks
Wept in your breakdowns
And prayed in your shame

Lady Babylon, Lady Babylon
I hear your cry
I know the answer
I heard His reply
Lady Babylon, Lady Babylon
There's more than this
I prayed for this
I hope you hear this
This is for you................
 

"She glorified herself and lived in luxury, so match it now with torment and sorrow. She boasted in her heart, 'I am queen on my throne. I am no helpless widow, and I have no reason to mourn.' Therefore, these plagues will overtake her in a single day--- death and mourning and famine. She will be completely consumed by fire, for the Lord God who judges her is mighty." -Revelation 18:7-8


 

the art of process

My sin.